Last Words
“Wasn’t that a beautiful service? I took notes.”
I chuckled as I overheard the elevator conversation between two “golden agers.” We had all attended the memorial service of a prominent member of our community.
Recently, some of my coffee time friends and I laughed about the cycle of life. “When our girls were younger, I took notes on weddings adding ideas for theirs when the time came. As I sat in a memorial service last year I thought, “Oh, I would like that for my service.” I guess most of us are planners to the end – and beyond.
A friend said she reads obituaries for ideas. She jots down phrases which fit into her “picture perfect” last words for the back page of the program whose layout is a “best of” collection.
“Curated” is a word which describes the gathering of items, ideas, furniture, and even groups. At this stage of life it aptly describes the way we prepare for the way we are presented to those left behind. “I want to make sure my service, my obituary, and all the arrangements are just what I want. I don’t want anyone else deciding how it should be done.” As if she is going to be sitting on the front row!
Very few of the residents of my community grew up here (nor did I). Our friendships began at retirement age. We know little of their life stories, accomplishments, and journeys until we read the obituaries. “I wish I had known him/her when they were younger. I had no idea of those stories.” How much we missed.
Capturing a lifetime in a few expensive newspaper paragraphs is impossible. But it does cause us to think carefully about what really matters. What do we want people to know, remember, or understand? Where are the important steps and starts? Where are the points of grace?
Let’s think about those answers.
Prayer Network
by Brenda A. Smith, BWFLI.com, BreakfastWithFred.com
“I didn’t know a Christian college could make such a change in my life.”
September will bring new experiences: new locations, new friends, new academic challenges, and especially new opportunities for spiritual growth. Most students will be moving from home and high school into an independent college environment. Some will be transferring from another school. Others will be returning from a summer of emotional highs and lows and look to the campus as their “real” home.
The young woman who made the comment to me about Christian education chose to make the serious investment in private Christian higher education in order to grow academically AND spiritually, preparing to be a woman of faith in every area of her life.
This month please pray for administration, faculty, and staff as they minister to the students. Each man or woman entering this stage comes with eagerness, anticipation, as well as anxieties, and uncertainties.
May the Spirit of God fill each classroom, student center, housing unit, and food service location. And may we faithfully stand with each institution, lifting them up in prayer, financial support, and encouragement. Thank you, Father God, for all who follow you in the sacred task of educating and being educated to your glory.
Seeing Needs and Meeting Them
by Bob Deffinbaugh, Bible.org, BWFLI.com
14 And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men. 15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all men (1 Thessalonians 5:14-16, NAS).
It is my opinion that these words are not addressed to church leaders, but to church members (see 1 Thes. 5:12). As you begin this school year, there will be many who fit into one or more of these categories of need. There will certainly be people who need help the caring support and encouragement of a caring friend.
I would encourage you to return to your school, alert to those in need, and that you minister appropriately to them. In the early days of one’s college career, there will be incoming students who are particularly in need of your ministry to them. May God give you eyes to see them, and a heart eager to minister to them.
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Fundamental People Principles
Weekly Thought – September 9, 2025
Fred thought in principles. He aptly applied discernment, understanding, and experience to fundamental principles. He often said: “Principles never change; just the illustrations.” His well-disciplined study of human nature and his ever alert view of human behavior gave him ample “material” as he would say.
Fundamental People Principles
Here are three simple things I have learned about people:
1.) It is a total waste of time trying to correct other people’s mistakes. I should use the time to utilize their strengths and buttress their weaknesses. Too many training courses focus the majority of the time on overcoming weaknesses – a complete misunderstanding of human nature and effective management.
2.) You can’t change anybody else. Each person has to change himself or herself – you can’t do it for them. You can set up pressures or you can be alert to opportunities for encouragement, but the action can’t be taken for another. You might even create fear that will cause a temporary change, but nothing permanent. We spend an awful lot of time putting temporary situations in place, thinking we have changed a person but in the end it is an inefficient, ineffective short term fix.
3.) People are the way they are because they want to be that way. I haven’t always believed that. In fact, when I started out in life I wanted to be a social worker… until I became extremely disillusioned with people. Now I am totally convinced each of us is responsible for our choices. Instead of operating from this principle, we rationalize and give all sorts of reasons that people are not the product of their own decisions. One thing I have clearly observed: we do this for ourselves, as well.
When we have an opportunity to change and don’t take it, the decision is being made to stay in the same place. On the other hand, when you go through personal challenges without hiding, rationalizing, or running away, a decision is being made to grow and mature. The person who comes through is the person of choice.
Finally, people who want to change make a plan knowing growth doesn’t “just happen.” Conversely, people who avoid planning and just “go with the flow” often treat the lack of change, opportunity, or maturity with rationalization.
As I like to say, “Principles never change; just the illustrations.” These simple fundamentals can work as a skeleton for effective personal relations. Each interaction will have its own set of particulars (or illustrations). I find practice is the key to mastering these principles.
This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I understand people? 2) Which simple principle is most helpful for me this week? 3) Where in scripture can we find substantiation?
Words of Wisdom: “Principles never change; just the illustrations.”
Wisdom from the Word: “And all who heard Jesus were astonished at his understanding and his answers.” (Luke 2:27 NET Bible)