Showing Off
An internet “psychic” service advertised their prowess in opening doors to satisfying romance. This campaign ran before February 14th knowing the data shows New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day topping the list of “worst nights for singles.”
The assuring male voice tells the potential client about the value of paying for supernatural guidance which will bring ultimate happiness and success. After the pitch sets the emotional stage, the radio ad finishes with the tag line: “Flaunt Your Love Life!” Their implication is using their service will lead to unbridled, jealousy-producing relationships.
Beyond bemusement I considered the implication of their tag line. Love is no longer a precious, personal gift from God but a commodity to be monetized. To desire a relationship for the sole purpose of generating envy makes it sound like a drop-dead outfit with killer shoes.
We are desensitized to the profound nature of true love. We see celebrities proudly using each other for professional gain (until they tire or max out the value). Commitment becomes a matter of “lunch tomorrow.” Utility is the measure, not fidelity.
I don’t know if the West Coast seers are magically finding partners for their clients, but I do know true love is not for flaunting, but for fostering.
Prayer Network
by Brenda A. Smith, BWFLI.com, BreakfastWithFred.com
“Integrating faith, profession, and service.”
We are privileged to pray for Christian higher education. It is serious work in serious times. Thank you for standing with the men and women who mentor, instruct, and lead students in wholeness. Scripture tells us we are called to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, and mind. This month let’s specifically pray for students, staff, faculty, and administration for increased spiritual strength to complete tasks, “fight the good fight,” and grow in faith.
Look at the list of schools who have participated in the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institutes and remember them all month long. A word of encouragement and gratitude, a financial donation, and consistent prayer as they lift up the name of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit is always appropriate and appreciated. We are “one in the bonds of love,” aren’t we?
Where to Find Wisdom
by Bob Deffinbaugh, Bible.org, BWFLI.com
1 For I want you to know how great a struggle I have on your behalf and for those who are at Laodicea, and for all those who have not personally seen my face, 2 that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. 4 I say this so that no one will delude you with persuasive argument. 5 For even though I am absent in body, nevertheless I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ. 6 Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, 7 having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. 8 See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ (Colossians 2:1-8, NAU).
I’ve often pondered Paul’s warning about philosophy (Colossians 1:8). Does he mean that we should not take classes in philosophy? I think not. But what Paul does here in Colossians 2 is to put philosophy in its proper place.
Some folks view the Scriptures by looking through a humanistic, philosophical lens. I believe that we should view philosophy (human reasonings and explanations for how and why things work as they appear to do) through a biblical lens. To be even more specific, through Christ as our lens. Knowing Christ is where true and undisputed wisdom begins.
There is no wisdom and no understanding
And no counsel against the LORD (Proverbs 21:30).
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Motivation or Manipulation?
Weekly Thought – April 9, 2024
Fred liked to say he was allergic to manipulation. His discernment was highly developed and those who tried to impress him in order to achieve their goals usually failed quickly. Motivation, on the other hand, was a skill he highly regarded.
Motivation or Manipulation?
Motivation is getting people to do something with mutual advantage. Manipulation is getting people to do what you want them to do, primarily for personal advantage. If the other person benefits, it is purely secondary. Manipulation carries a hidden agenda whereas motivation is open about the goal. When motivating you can be totally honest.
We know that there is a fine line to be walked. All of us agree that motivation is good while manipulation is bad. But sometimes only a fine line separates the two and it can be difficult to know exactly which side of the line you are on. The issues aren’t always clear cut… what may be a legitimate source of motivation in one situation could be manipulation – intent matters. What is the driver?
For example, I dislike eggplant and won’t willingly or knowingly eat it. What if Mary Alice decided to add it into a familiar casserole which I eat without question then compliment her on it? “Oh, I am glad you liked it. It was eggplant.” Alright, was that motivation because she knew it was good for me, or manipulation because she knew I would not try it if I knew before lifting my fork?
In an interesting evening of conversation with a group of friends in Minnesota one chided me, “You businessmen exchange and mistake manipulation for motivation.” This renown psychiatrist enjoyed poking “us businessmen.” “Okay, doc what is the difference?” “If you can substitute the word it works with motivation, but not with manipulation.” He was saying to check and see if we are satisfying someone’s thirst or whether we are meeting our own needs. One is motivational while the other is manipulative. Since that evening I have found the principle to be helpful. I can motivate with integrity when I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.
Care must be taken in trying to “uncover a thirst.” When we attempt to do this without the other person’s awareness , we are pushing that thin line. To be helpful we can try to bring out an unrecognized latent desire, but we need to remember three things: 1) recognize how close we are to manipulation; 2) set a checkpoint and if our technique doesn’t produce a genuine thirst, then stop; 3) never resort to immoral means even for righteous ends.
Instilling motivation is hard work. I sometimes hear people say, “well, if a person doesn’t want to go or grow, then I don’t have the right to try to get him there.” I have no right to manipulate, but neither can I allow the fear of crossing the line to be a rationalization for not doing the hard work of instilling motivation. After all, this is one of a leader’s most important tasks.
This week carefully consider: 1) How tempted am I to manipulate to get even short term results? 2) What is my most effective way of motivating? 3) Who is a model for motivation, not manipulation?
Words of Wisdom: “Manipulation carries a hidden agenda; motivation can be open about the goal.”
Wisdom from the Word: “So get rid of all evil and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander.” (1 Peter 2:1 NET Bible)